Good To Know Where We Stand……

Have you ever been excited about something. About a trip, a moment, a plan, a move, a new beginning. Have you ever constantly thought about something and you finally made it happen and the excitement flips your stomach inside out.

How did it turn out?

Did it go as planned?

Or did it burst into flames?

As I write this I am trying to remember everything in life happens for a reason and it is all apart of a bigger plan, a bigger vision, a bigger victory.

Part 1 The Anticipation

3am After The Bar

Excuse me because I’m a little tipsy.

See I tried to find the words to say before this moment but they continuously vacate my mind and now with liquid courage I finally have the courage to say I am completely nervous. But at least now I can finally tell you why.

I was in the car the other day listening to the radio and “Do you remember the time” by Michael Jackson started playing. It made me wonder, do you remember the time? Because trust me I can. See back then there was no falling in love, or at least that’s the vibe I got from you. I am a lover, so for me it was a piece of cake to fall, but for you it remained a mystery and I never even knew what I meant to you.

So I am nervous because I was young and immature the first time we tried this and I felt things could change, you know. Seven years have passed so something must have changed. Now don’t think I am crazy, I was not talking about forevers, it’s just something I saw in that moment that made me think we could work.

Maybe?

So I am nervous for those moments and feelings to replay. They were hard to erase the first time and the last thing I need is a bad sequel. But on the upside I get to see you for a few days and reminisce on the old days, so that should be nice or at least fun. However, I am nervous that at the end of the day, you will still leave and move on without me, that you are not the person I knew way back when and because of that I can not help but to be…

Nervous.

Part 2 The Disappointment

The Plane Ride Home

A disaster.

It was a complete disaster. Better yet, it was a lesson and an eye opener. Well, more like a slap in the face. I went for a good time, laughs and good company. I got hella laughs for sure, cause that shit was a joke, and the joke was on me. My emotions are raging.

I was nervous initially, because at the core of who I am lies a down ass chick. Basically, I care a lot. Too damn much obviously because common courtesy is not common and the idea of it being returned is too much for people. To think that I was nervous, that I was scared to see what this was is something that started back in school and lingered ever since. Could we just pick up where we left off?

Well nope, so in short:

Dear Fuck Boy,

Fuck that.

Fuck you.

-Just Another One of Your Girls

You have got to understand that this thing called life is a hell of a rollercoaster and people change. Unfortunately it is not always for the better. Situations never stay the same and I knew this would not be different but what I did not know is that when you answered the phone another girl’s voice would come through clocking your every move. Instantly, our great weekend turned into my nightmare because I had to be dreaming. But don’t worry, I won’t be fooled again. Honestly somewhere along the line I forgot what you were capable of. I forgot what my intentions were and I forgot what I already knew about you. But no matter how hard I tried to prepare myself, in the end I knew you would leave me, feeling like no other person could…

Disappointed

The biggest lesson I learned was that every part of life is a lesson and just make sure you learn from them and continue being great.

– Narrated By Just Jordan

#secrets #dating #Women #Men #blackwoman #teenagefever #culture #relationships #travel #truth #Blackmen #lifestyle